He was kind, sweet, funny, a real charmer—essentially, everything that I could have wanted in a guy, right down to a pair of amazing cheekbones.
I had been planning our future together, both in my head and out in the open. I didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, I thought. He was a jerk, he treated me badly, we broke up, I moved on, and that was that. But I knew that romantically, we couldn’t be together anymore.
“Your relationship might only be a five, but breaking up might temporarily bring you down to a three.
It doesn’t matter that you’ll eventually be happier than you were in the relationship.
A lot of people can’t pull the Band-Aid off and face that temporary decline.” In other words, we can be as terrible at delaying gratification when it comes to relationships as we are with anything else. “The biggest component of it is ‘I’m never going to find someone else,’” says Lombardo. It’s the ‘I’m going to die alone and my cats are going to eat me’ thinking.
(Ladies, don’t underestimate the power of defined cheekbones.) And here’s the thing: we meshed so well. By the time we graduated from college in May, we had been dating for over two and a half years.
I found myself having to try harder and harder to connect with him, to be on the same wavelength. I kept thinking that it was a phase, or a hiccup, or a post-graduation relationship rut. I was exhausted from reaching over it, hoping he’d be able to grab my hand to make sure I didn’t fall off the edge.
” Well, there’s no “one-size-fits-all” answer here.
“We were worlds apart, and there was a particular, more meaningful, intellectual connection that was lacking.” Jessica was terrified to break up with him for a variety of reasons. “The guy everyone says they want to find and settle down with.” She had doubts about her vague feeling that the relationship was just a wrong fit: “If I couldn’t be happy in a relationship with him – the perfect, most agreeable guy ever – who could I ever be happy in a relationship with? ” Jessica was also fearful of letting other people down – not just her boyfriend, but her friends and family.
She suspected that her parents were secretly saving for her wedding.